Working For The Bookie Part I

Away back in the mists of time I had a brief spell working for a bookie's shop in n in the backwoods of central Scotland.
I was out of work and between careers and needed some cash when the opportunity came to work in the bookies.
My uncle Jack had acquired a bookies shop at short notice. I always suspected the bookie owed him money or that the bookie needed money in a hurry when he sold up to Jack.
Anyway, the place was an absolute shitehole and needed cleaned-up quickly before opening. We managed to do this in a couple of days and come the Monday when we opened the doors we were raring to go. It was very small-fry though. He was through the back settling the bets. I was on the counter taking and paying-out the bets. He hired someone to work the weekends along with me, a strange girl called Connie.
From the start there were problems-:

1.Jack and myself hated each other.We always had. He was a prime asshole who owned a couple of shops and he was way dodgy. He lent out money and, while not a loan shark, he was too close to being one for comfort. He was my Mum's brother and she regarded him as the one of her family who had made some cash and loved him for that. I was offered the job cos he needed somebody quickly and I was hard-up enough to need it.


2.I couldn't count. A bad failing. I had never worked in a shop before and I was hopeless with change. The till never balanced most days .Sometimes up, sometimes down but rarely was it bang-on.Not great amounts of money but enough to greatly annoy Jack.

3. I was gambler and liked to bet.This meant I ventured into rival establishments and was on first name terms with his competitors some of whom were my friends. This got Jack very paranoid from the off.

4. Connie was a lunatic. A complete gossip and a slapper too. One of these thing would have been enough to annoy me but all three was too much.

I knew very early on that this was not going to work out and Boy, was I right !

To Be Continued..........

*Names changed in the interests of sanity

Marty Funkhouser Joke from Curb Your Enthusiasm

The following is a very rude joke as told to Jerry Seinfeld by Marty Funkhouser on HBO show Curb Your Enthusiasm -:
Watch on Youtube

A woman is very afraid of the size of her opening.

So she goes to her mother, she says what am I going to do I’m so big down there when I marry Harry he’s going to divorce me.

Her mother says don’t worry sweetheart it runs in the family, do what I did when I married your father. Go to the market, get some raw liver, put it in there he’ll never know the difference.

So she does.

They have eight hours of sex after their marriage. She wakes up at 10 o’clock, he’s gone but there’s a note on her pillow.
It says -:
“My darling Harriet.
To think that I waited a year to consummate our loving relationship makes my heart beat so loudly I’m surprised it didn’t wake you up.
The only reason I’m not here now darling is that I’m at work to make enough money to buy you a house, a picket fence, we’ll have dogs and children.

When the 5 o’clock dinner bell rings I will be home like the winged Gossamer of love in your arms.

Your loving husband, Harry.

PS. Your cunt is in the sink."

Wheelie Bin Washers

A bin by its very nature is usually dirty.
Why then do folk spend money to have their wheelie-bins washed?
The utter pointlessness of it is amazing
Surely in a recession such businesses would be first to be the victim of domestic penny pinching?
I prefer my bin to be dirty though I will continue to keep my house clean.

Election 2010 -Candidates Debate

The first candidates debate was an almighty snoozefest.
I gave up on with a half hour to go. Let's face it, we were not going to miss much as it was going to be all over the news anyway.
Brown did marginally better than Cameron. Clegg spoke well but lives in a fantasy world.
I absolutely can wait until the second debate.

'My wife screamed for help all night but it never came'

'My wife screamed for help all night but it never came' - Edinburgh Evening News

Tragic story from the Edinburgh Evening News on the poor standard of dementia care.
Dementia in so many ways can be the most awful of all illnesses for both the afflicted and their families.
There's no doubt demetia patients can be a challenge to look after,however, their dignity must be respected as a given

Baby Baby Baby -Joss Stone

I don't think this video is a wise career move for Ms Stone-:

Election 2010 Leaders Debate #1

Tonight it is the first of the leaders debates.
The big question is -:Will I watch it live?
I have my doubts as it is on for two hours and with politics I doubt I have a sufficient attention span to take it all in.
Anyway,the whole thing will be hugely stage-managed and stilted.
However, there is always the chance of someone making a gaffe or being tied in knots by one of the others.
"Perhaps" is my answer then.

Sinus Update

Unable to go back to work today due to pain and general blockage.
The way shifts are mean I don't return until Thursday of next week.
Should be more healed-up by then.

Me and My sinuses

Last Tuesday was under surgeon's knife for a Septoplasty where the inside of my nose was re-arranged. I was in hospital overnight and had to be off work for over a week.
It was all rather messy and a bit on the sore side.Self pity seemed my main problem though,rather than the pain.
Inside of nostrils is still a mess and I am having steam-inhalations with menthol crystals daily as well as daily irrigations of the nose with saline via a syringe.After surgery was told it may be 3 months before I get the full benefit of the op! THREE MONTHS ! I am hoping that is a worst case scenario.
Anyway, I am managing on with the help of Cocodamol tablets and feeling better daily.
"Three months !"

Introduction

This is it.
Pablo210 tries his hand at blogging.
A big 'Hi' to my twitter and facebook buddies.
I dare say it will be as random as my twitter contributions, just more of it.
"Less is more" I hear you all say.
Anyway a huge welcome to you all.