The Feet

Minging Socks is a song about the feet of my dear mate,Mr Zak Morrison.
Zak has a problem with his feet. They stink.Many folk who have bad smelling feet have that kind of musty 'stale biscuits' aroma about them.
Not Zak.
His feet have a uniquely vile aroma about them.Imagine a bucket of vomit 75% full and someone comes along and empties a bottle of vinegar into it and then throws-in the rotting carcass of a dead animal into the mix and you may come close.The combination of all this with sweat and you have the most revolting feet in the entire world.
How did they get like this? He does assure me he bathes and showers regularly and that the socks are changed daily. I remain unconvinced and think he may well be lying as to the extent of his self-hygiene regime.
However, this may explain why he has remained single.
Don't get me wrong, he is a a handsome chap  and some might say he has his charms but ,as soon as they get one whiff of his feet, the ladies head for the hills.
He has tried keeping his shoes-on but unfortunately the sock smell permeates through the shoe leather eventually, eating through it with the sheer acidity of the rancidness.Also,it is very unusual to have your shoes on during all social activity (if you know what I mean).
At my place,he is banned from all shoe-removal and quite rightly so.
He even went to his doctor who asked him about his bathing habits and recommended  bathing his feet nightly in a salt-water solution>>>>>>>>> No Effect.

Cue the song-:

listen to ‘Minging Socks -Pablo's Singing Debut’ on Audioboo

Whats So Funny About Peace Love & Understanding

Been blocked by about four different folks on Twitter this week as referred to in my recent audio.
It's amazing that folk who you think were friends turn out to be nothing of the sort.
Made me think that we really know nothing for sure about our Twitter pals other than what they reveal to us and we don't really know for sure that what they are telling us is actually true at all!
Of the folks that have blocked me,only one was nasty to me and that was partially my fault as it was the result of some mis-fired humour that was taken the wrong way.I mention some detail of this on my last audio.
The others just chose to ignore me and drop me like a hot potato,I think in two of those instances I had made remarks about protected tweets and they thought I was referring to them (I wasn't).
The final block was someone who had followed me for about five days and I had chatted to and seemed to be nice and friendly until today when I found I had been blocked by them..Completely mystified by that one.
Anyway,life goes on and I have also made some fantastic new friends on Twitter of late.
I should also say that  I really do not use my own name on Twitter as Twitter is a place where I can escape from the shackles of work and have some fun and relax..

I thought this song was suitable to finish with

Twitter Blocking

 My latest podcast with tales of bitching and blocking on Twitter,,,

listen to ‘Twitter Blocking’ on Audioboo

My Old School - Part I

My old school was hellish..
I hated every day  I spent there.
Bullying was rife, in fact that is what it was best known for in the local area. I am sure Bullying was actually on the timetable.There was actually a pecking-order for bullies of which I was very near the bottom of. I was in second-bottom  category of being 'a soft touch'. Below me were only the sissies and the educationally-challenged who provided no sport whatsoever for the seasoned bully.
The teachers also bullied everyone they could.This was back in the days in Scotland where you could still be belted in the form of corporal punishment..You would have to extend your arms in front of you,crossing your hands with the palms facing upwards before receiving lashes from a leather belt.
Some teachers had rather flimsy belts and were hopeless at dispensing the lashes.Others had really hard belts which could be held erect without any flapping.Quality  leather ones from Lochgelly in Fife.
The way the teachers gave 'the belt' was rather strange as well.The belt was held behind the shoulder before being swung forth with great menace.The natural instinct for the 'beltee' was to draw your hands away before the lash made contact with your palms resulting in a kind of 'strike-out' scenario like Baseball before the belting-teacher eventually connected with your palm.
The ultimate in punishment was to be belted six times in front of school assembly.Oh the humiliation suffered as the whole school giggled as you were doubled-over in pain fighting off the tears.
Such punishment was reserved for acts of vandalism and thieving of the tuck shop..Yes,I was occasionally bad at school Anyway, it's time for a song......./TO BE CONTINUED