Return To The Blog and Twitter tales

Well Helllooo
I haven't been on the blog since March.
What a mess place is in...dust everywhere.

Twitter has been driving  me mad of late..Seem to be falling-out with loads of folk on there AND it is mostly my own fault.
My trouble is that I try too hard to be liked and that seriously pisses-off people.

I start pouring my heart out to folks and end-up embarrassing them when all they really want to is moan about TV and the like..My problem is I work shifts and find it very hard to make friends as when you are a shift-worker you tend to become a bit of an outsider socially.

People are nice but they never know how to take me and I have had more knock-backs than most.

I get emotional and say things I regret..So if I have done so I apologise..

I should just accept people just want to tweet and don’t want true friendship.. Just be Tweetpals.

I really am sorry.

Pablo x

The Feet

Minging Socks is a song about the feet of my dear mate,Mr Zak Morrison.
Zak has a problem with his feet. They stink.Many folk who have bad smelling feet have that kind of musty 'stale biscuits' aroma about them.
Not Zak.
His feet have a uniquely vile aroma about them.Imagine a bucket of vomit 75% full and someone comes along and empties a bottle of vinegar into it and then throws-in the rotting carcass of a dead animal into the mix and you may come close.The combination of all this with sweat and you have the most revolting feet in the entire world.
How did they get like this? He does assure me he bathes and showers regularly and that the socks are changed daily. I remain unconvinced and think he may well be lying as to the extent of his self-hygiene regime.
However, this may explain why he has remained single.
Don't get me wrong, he is a a handsome chap  and some might say he has his charms but ,as soon as they get one whiff of his feet, the ladies head for the hills.
He has tried keeping his shoes-on but unfortunately the sock smell permeates through the shoe leather eventually, eating through it with the sheer acidity of the rancidness.Also,it is very unusual to have your shoes on during all social activity (if you know what I mean).
At my place,he is banned from all shoe-removal and quite rightly so.
He even went to his doctor who asked him about his bathing habits and recommended  bathing his feet nightly in a salt-water solution>>>>>>>>> No Effect.

Cue the song-:

listen to ‘Minging Socks -Pablo's Singing Debut’ on Audioboo

Whats So Funny About Peace Love & Understanding

Been blocked by about four different folks on Twitter this week as referred to in my recent audio.
It's amazing that folk who you think were friends turn out to be nothing of the sort.
Made me think that we really know nothing for sure about our Twitter pals other than what they reveal to us and we don't really know for sure that what they are telling us is actually true at all!
Of the folks that have blocked me,only one was nasty to me and that was partially my fault as it was the result of some mis-fired humour that was taken the wrong way.I mention some detail of this on my last audio.
The others just chose to ignore me and drop me like a hot potato,I think in two of those instances I had made remarks about protected tweets and they thought I was referring to them (I wasn't).
The final block was someone who had followed me for about five days and I had chatted to and seemed to be nice and friendly until today when I found I had been blocked by them..Completely mystified by that one.
Anyway,life goes on and I have also made some fantastic new friends on Twitter of late.
I should also say that  I really do not use my own name on Twitter as Twitter is a place where I can escape from the shackles of work and have some fun and relax..

I thought this song was suitable to finish with

Twitter Blocking

 My latest podcast with tales of bitching and blocking on Twitter,,,

listen to ‘Twitter Blocking’ on Audioboo

My Old School - Part I

My old school was hellish..
I hated every day  I spent there.
Bullying was rife, in fact that is what it was best known for in the local area. I am sure Bullying was actually on the timetable.There was actually a pecking-order for bullies of which I was very near the bottom of. I was in second-bottom  category of being 'a soft touch'. Below me were only the sissies and the educationally-challenged who provided no sport whatsoever for the seasoned bully.
The teachers also bullied everyone they could.This was back in the days in Scotland where you could still be belted in the form of corporal punishment..You would have to extend your arms in front of you,crossing your hands with the palms facing upwards before receiving lashes from a leather belt.
Some teachers had rather flimsy belts and were hopeless at dispensing the lashes.Others had really hard belts which could be held erect without any flapping.Quality  leather ones from Lochgelly in Fife.
The way the teachers gave 'the belt' was rather strange as well.The belt was held behind the shoulder before being swung forth with great menace.The natural instinct for the 'beltee' was to draw your hands away before the lash made contact with your palms resulting in a kind of 'strike-out' scenario like Baseball before the belting-teacher eventually connected with your palm.
The ultimate in punishment was to be belted six times in front of school assembly.Oh the humiliation suffered as the whole school giggled as you were doubled-over in pain fighting off the tears.
Such punishment was reserved for acts of vandalism and thieving of the tuck shop..Yes,I was occasionally bad at school Anyway, it's time for a song......./TO BE CONTINUED

St Valentine : Some Observations

Just think what you could do if you were able to travel back in time. There’s all the important, worthwhile stuff like finding a way to prevent wars, famine and the invention of reality TV.

I’d also invest in mobile phone shares and realise that Apple and Orange were sound business prospects, not just fruit.
I’d change the world of fashion by tracking down the person who came up with skinny jeans for men and introduce them to the wonders of banoffee pie, Lager and the elasticated waist.
But the first job on the agenda would be to travel back to ancient  Rome, find a chap called Valentine, attach him to a post with a set of pink furry handcuffs and make him listen to I Will Always Love You  on a loop.
Apologies to the manufacturers of three-foot padded cards but Valentine’s Day makes me want to rebel against romance and compose rhymes that include the word 'Nantucket.'
Yes, the whole love your partner thing is all very sweet but I just don’t see how this is achieved by paying £50 for a bunch of roses that will be reduced to a tenner the following day. And don’t even get me started on Valentine tat.
There’s nothing remotely romantic about boxer shorts that come with flashing lights and a button that can be pressed to hear a chorus of I’m Just A Love Machine.
Some of the pressies this year are more farcical  than ever. Asda have a new ridiculous concept in cohabitation called a Twosie – this being a giant double poncho that allows the two lovebirds  to be, quite literally, inseparable. It’s a bit like the costume for a panto horse but without a tail and not as classy..
 Princess Gwyneth of the Paltrow has been getting in on the Valentine nonsense, with her website Goop charging more than £300 for a single gold and diamond heart-shaped earring, which she claims is a “no brainer” for Valentine’s Day.
Goop’s blurb declares it’s a woman’s “most trusted girlfriend on the web”.
If one of my mates (male or female) suggested splashing out that kind of money on one earring, I’d remove the vino (or spiked Orange Juice) from their hand and point out that £300 could buy a week in Benidorm.
But, according to the hype, the ultimate Valentine treat this year is something a little more intimate.
Ladies, cross those legs and prepare to feel thy toes curl.
Yes! Those who wish to increase their personal pleasure can invest in the G-spot jab.
Apparently doctors can now inject filler into that elusive area to increase its size and enhance sensation. Given that opinion is split as to whether the G-spot actually exists at all we can do is hope the procedure comes with a manual and a map with a huge red cross stating: “You Are Here.”
Yes, St Valentine has a lot to answer for. So in the words of Cher, the goddess of big hair and posturing, if I could turn back time, if I could find a way… I’d bin all that romance stuff and make him the patron saint of something far more profound. I wonder how he’d feel about Nantucket?

Pablo on Equal Marriage

Latest podcast......a rant about marriage

listen to ‘Pablo on Equal Marriage’ on Audioboo